New Beginings!

Well, It's been a while and yet so much has happened for me, All great in a major way! Happy Birthday Siah! LOL.. Well in 4 days! Bilal all I can say is wow! How much you have grown and changed in the last few months, no more new teeth, but your singing, laughing, calling prayer, and praying are the most fun things to watch! You keep me on my toes! Although things seemed to be going wrong, life was giving me so many lemons! I can say happily I love the lemonade! It taste great! I am so grateful for all the lemons I have been giving, because I appreciate all the lemonade I am able to sit back and drink and watch my children grow and become great people!

Dark!

I am lost in the dark, a world that is cold and vain. I am so lost in the dark, and all I feel is pain. My eyes are wide open and yet I can not see, but what I am seeing is the dark. Could this darkness be me? I eyes swell with tears, my throat tight and dry, tears roll down my eyes as I start to cry. This darkness I fear is taking over me, what can I do to be set free? I try to speak no one can hear me, I try to find help but no one is near me. My heart struggling to be let free. In this dark I try to yell and scream for help and I know it is no one hear but me. I feel as though I am going to die in this dream. I ask myself why am I here in this dark? Could it be that I have been unjust or being punished for something I did? Allah knows the life I lived. I just know that I am dieing in side and I am all alone, Alone in the dark, but I don't want to call this home. I have loved, cared for and given all I have. But I have been rewarded with this dark and I am scared and alone. Surrounded by the dark, taken in by the dark, dieing in the dark. Scared by the dark! Lying in the dark!

Stepping out of you, walking into me!

Stepping out of you, walking into me.
Just being the women I want and need to be.
Not wasting another minute being everyone but me.
Am stepping out of you, living my life free.
You have suppressed and distressed what I wanted to be,
you have torn and scorned that women that that use to be me.
But today I am walking away from you so I can be free.
To collect and rebuild that beautiful light in me,
that beauty and joy that use to be me; will be me today!
Because today I am free.
Stepping out of you, walking into me.
I have to be rid of you, to get to me!

The Lye!

You said you loved me it was a lye.
You said you married me, that to was a lye.
You told me your name, it was a lye.
You said you where not playing games, that to was a lye.
You said that you scarficed for me, but it was all for you.
You said that you needed me, but what you needed was not all true.
You said you would give me the world, but that was not true.
You gave me a lye.

Now I know what is true!

Feeling Blah!

It's raining, there are no children out singing, and my mood is so blah!

Why is my mood so blah? I am looking for the sun, and a little bit of fun, and my mood is blah! So, so blah!

Why can't I find joy? Like when a girl meets the boy; she likes or when a boy rides his first brand new bike. All I have is the gray of this very rainy day. And a mood that is blah! So dam blah!

Peace and love!

Jamilah

Question the food you eat!

Do you really have to be in love with someone to make a relationship work or last?

Is it OK to lie to someone by saying that they are pretty?

Am I the only person in the world that gets annoyed with liars?

If you tell someone that you did something, then really do it!! "this is a statement"

Do people really thing that time stops and waits for them? Moron!

Do you like the the color blue? I do!

Can someone that lies often ever be trusted?

When will people learn or realize that most people in the world are not as dumb as they appear, sometimes people like being kind but it doesn't mean they are naive!

If you think you are not good enough for a person, than why not waste their time or yours?

when you see bad kids in the store falling out from fits, and screaming...do you want to beat them for their parent? I do!

What do you really think about a women in hijab?

Does everyone believe what they see on the news?

Do you think that most men suck! I do!

lol..peace and love,

Jamilah

Just a vent!

Why do we have schedules or make schedules to then not follow them? Why make plans and tell people your plans just so they can get mad and or try to change them for you? Look, Time waits for no man or woman. So if you want to do something then do it, if you want to spend time with someone than do it! Don't get mad at someone because they make a schedule or has planned a day without you! People are not mind readers, if you want to spend time with a person tell them, and do it! Not get with them and say nothing or do nothing! Do not get mad when they start doing something else and taking advantage of the time you are wasting. Time is not yours to waste..I am venting..LOL...but hey! I have 4 kids, go to school, and have family that loves being around me! So my time is limited, and I would like to just enjoy the time I have! Give me a break! and my new thing....Quit harshing my mellow!

Peace and Love,

Jamilah