If we know what our spouses have an issue, like spending money or smoking. Do you go shopping with him or buy him cigarettes' or do you stay home or refuse to buy them. If you have a spouse that is doing something that you do not agree with I would say don't take part in the act, and complain later. For example the smoking spouse. I would just simply tell him that his actions are bother some and that I will not help him in his acts any longer, not that you are judging him or being disobedient it's just a simple matter of wanting for him what you want for yourself. I know as women sometimes it becomes easy to complain and not say anything to our spouses. But are we really helping or just ignoring what is truly going on and suppressing our anger. I think that love will help make something bad good.
So his problem is your fault if you do nothing to help change it. If your spouse was an alcoholic you would not bring him to the bar or liquor store and say don't buy any liquor because it upsets me when you know he is a drunkard. The same thing is true about any other issue. Help him, by not joining in or temping him with the issue.
I can say from first hand that relationships are hard work. But with the hard work, you both gain so much from it. I love my husband and will do what I can to help make things easy for him. And I complain a lot, but when I sit and think about what I complaining about and how far we have come. I realize that he is a blessing to me as I am to him, and I try to find a way to discuss the things that are truly bothering me. In the end I may not get my way all the time, but I do get the lesson!
Just my random thought and 2 cents...
Love and peace!
Jamilah
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